How much affection is too much

You may not want to put your partner on a pedestal. When someone feels too idealized by their romantic partner, their relationship satisfaction suffers, according to a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. The first study looked at 91 dating couples between the ages of 17 and Some of the participants were led to believe their partners thought more highly of them than the participants thought of themselves over-idealizing.

After that, these participants ended up sitting farther away from their partners on a couch as compared to the control group , suggesting that this perceived idealization may actually be a little unsettling. The second study surveyed 89 married couples in their late 30s about relationship quality, how they viewed themselves, and how they perceived their partner viewed them.

When husbands thought their spouses over-idealized them, they reported being less satisfied with the relationship. This seemed to suggest that being idolized in a relationship can actually be bad for your bond if it goes way above how you actually feel about yourself. So "if it seems too much, it probably is too much," Stott said. This isn't to say passion and physical affection are bad things. Everyone likes to feel wanted, and hugging and kissing are simply the most obvious signs you enjoy each other's company.

But it's important to remember there's no rush, and being intimately close to someone can take time — and that's fine. That being said, there are some instances where affection can be a red flag for toxic behaviour. One of the first signs a relationship is emotionally abusive is the way someone acts right at the start. To reel in their potential partners in, abusive people use a manipulative tactic called love bombing. They shower their new love interest with gifts, compliments, and physical affection, only to start taking away once they've got them hooked.

Their partner then starts to blame themselves for their shift of character, and does everything in their power to try and get their soulmate back — although that person never existed.

This includes doing everything the abuser wants, and neglecting their own needs. Watch Out for These Signs So how do you know if holding back is hurting your relationship? Another red flag is if you make a habit of playing it cool in your relationship.

Then, ask yourself why. Weight Loss. Sometimes, affection can feel over-the-top and the recipient can start to feel suffocated by loving gestures. It can happen if someone is just not that affectionate themselves or because they're not feeling as affectionate at a particular time, whether they're stressed about work or maybe because they're questioning the relationship.

If you're an affectionate person, don't worry — being affectionate is a natural, lovely thing. Physical touch is one of Dr. Gary Chapman's five love languages that describes one of the five most common ways people express love. But sometimes — especially if your partner has a different love language and isn't naturally affectionate — affection can feel overwhelming. And that's when things get complicated.

Unfortunately, rather than just asking for space, a lot of people will just try to hide the fact that they're getting annoyed or frustrated.